that i don't necessarily like deciding things,
i don't like humans,
and i only find their humanity beautiful and amusing.

i am jaded. i am a fool. i am a lush.
i am nauseous and nauseating. i am an alien in human skin.
fill up the bowl.
chow down,
and choke.

seconds await until i change face.

_{if you haven't guessed i'm not doing so hot.
if you haven't guessed i'm not here a lot because i'm not doing so hot.
if you haven't guessed, this journal means absolutely nothing.}


oh, and melissa...i haven't bought a pack of cigarettes in three weeks.
this is me
giving you
a high five,
and possibly
(hopefully)
deteriorating
in the same moment.

this is apparently fetish week for me.
either way...whatever you want to call it...
these works are beautiful.

~csallai

all by ~ToMaBaBo.
i felt the need to feature three deviations this week because frankly...
these are some of my favourite fashion/emotive portraits of this year.
absolutely breathtaking.

Links to =Timothy-Sim's "Talent-Scope" features and news articles.

Features:
Talent-Scope - Issue #1
Talent-Scope - Issue #2
Talent-Scope - Issue #3
Talent-Scope - Issue #4
Talent-Scope - Issue #5
Talent-Scope - Issue #6
Talent-Scope - Issue #7

Interviews:
Talent-Interviews - Issue #1
Talent-Interviews - Issue #2
Talent-Interviews - Issue #3
Talent-Interviews - Issue #4
Talent-Interviews - Issue #4
Talent-Interviews - Issue #6
Talent-Interviews - Issue #7

It's the truth. I've officially come to the age where I'm the very person I said I would never be like...

I am my mother.

Her friends call and can't tell us apart on the phone, which has been happening for years, but now I EVEN HEAR IT. Even right down to the simplest mannerisms, we're like sisters. I argue like her, I get angry like her, I annoy others like her, I nag like her, I have the same LAWNG-ISLAND-I-SOUND-JEWISH-BUT-I'M-REALLY-JUST-ITALIAN-AND-HAVE-A-TERRIBLE-NASAL-VOICE accent like her. I talk to myself like she does, I joke like she does, I dance like she does, and I laugh like she does. I even burp the same way...

As I realized all of this over the past few months, I realized something else:

I also love like she does...
and I'm compassionate like she is,
and I'm tolerant,
and I try to judge as little as possible,
and when I do I don't stop feeling guilty until it's resolved within myself.

I'm caring like she is, and I try to make the best out of every situation like she does.

I guess sometimes, especially as women, we look at our mothers and only realize the negative aspects about them. Ever since I got out of high school, I always compared to gossiping and judging someone to looking in a mirror. We see something in the other person that reminds us of ourselves, and we hate it. Whether it's because we're trying to project it onto someone else, or simply because their presence makes it impossible to ignore any longer...

My point here is, though, that we seem to forget to look in our biological mirrors, our mothers, and see the good that they've reflected right back onto us. There may be unattractive shadows lying deep within her weathered face, or underneath her eyes, but there is also light...and that light shines much brighter than most anything in this world to me.

I'm so blessed to realize that I've become someone I love, and who has blessed ME by being a fantastic mother. Not many people I know can say they've been so fortunate.

So go hug your mom...or someone else's mom that you know is super.
Chances are you'll make her smile.

-Christina

Links to =Timothy-Sim's "Talent-Scope" features and news articles.

Features:
Talent-Scope - Issue #1
Talent-Scope - Issue #2
Talent-Scope - Issue #3
Talent-Scope - Issue #4
Talent-Scope - Issue #5
Talent-Scope - Issue #6
Talent-Scope - Issue #7

Interviews:
Talent-Interviews - Issue #1
Talent-Interviews - Issue #2
Talent-Interviews - Issue #3
Talent-Interviews - Issue #4
Talent-Interviews - Issue #4
Talent-Interviews - Issue #6
Talent-Interviews - Issue #7

78 pg.'s done. I'm so excited I've even gotten this far...that's almost 100! lmao.
I'm really proud of myself. I'm gonna go have a cigarette, and a yogurt, and more cigarettes, and much MUCH more writing. Love life, man. LOVE. LIFE.

ps - I love *mstargazer & *ohsostarryeyed. miss you guys so very mucho!

pps - I'm gonna take a break from featuring shit for a while until I can focus more, and not be so caught up in my writing & retouching, and junk.

Links to =Timothy-Sim's "Talent-Scope" features and news articles.

Features:
Talent-Scope - Issue #1
Talent-Scope - Issue #2
Talent-Scope - Issue #3
Talent-Scope - Issue #4
Talent-Scope - Issue #5
Talent-Scope - Issue #6
Talent-Scope - Issue #7

Interviews:
Talent-Interviews - Issue #1
Talent-Interviews - Issue #2
Talent-Interviews - Issue #3
Talent-Interviews - Issue #4
Talent-Interviews - Issue #4
Talent-Interviews - Issue #6
Talent-Interviews - Issue #7

if my dog doesn't stop barking at the neighbour i'm going to rip his throat out. with my bare hands. literally. (i should just open the door to let him inside, right?)

anyway...
new journal skin! whaddahhpp.
i made the header image with some amazing brushes.
links are at the bottom of the journal where it says who made the CSS.

i thought i was being clever when i wrote "about a girl..."
cause like...duh. of course this is about a girl.
then i made the image and it doesn't look like i'm trying to be clever...
it looks like i'm an asshole.

either way, both are true. so i kept it.
ok, and that's the story morning glory!
see yaaaa.

Links to =Timothy-Sim's "Talent-Scope" features and news articles.

Features:
Talent-Scope - Issue #1
Talent-Scope - Issue #2
Talent-Scope - Issue #3
Talent-Scope - Issue #4
Talent-Scope - Issue #5
Talent-Scope - Issue #6
Talent-Scope - Issue #7

Interviews:
Talent-Interviews - Issue #1
Talent-Interviews - Issue #2
Talent-Interviews - Issue #3
Talent-Interviews - Issue #4
Talent-Interviews - Issue #4
Talent-Interviews - Issue #6
Talent-Interviews - Issue #7